In my younger years I worked in a well known British book shop…. here are some of the very random things that happened

Two-year-old girl that screamed bloody murder when I came out of the back room dressed as Cookie the Mouse for story time.

Multiple accounts of people pooping on the bathroom floor.
Multiple accounts of people pooping on the sales floor.

Woman that shouted “DO YOU HAVE ____ BOOK” from her car while I was knocking on the window to get inside before the shop opened.
Man that called to have a book placed on hold…from inside the store.
Regular customer that always comes in with a jug of milk or, occasionally, bleach. The reason for this has not been deciphered.
Mum that brought in an entire Burger King meal and made a picnic in the kid’s department for her and her children.
The puppet rack being decimated every five fucking seconds.
Being interrogated on the process of making mocha syrup by a five-year-old girl.

Telling a teenage boy that he looked like a crunch bar for telling my co-worker that she was wearing too much makeup (AKA the one and only time I flipped my shit at a customer).
The annual Festivus board in the break room, where all employees post their customer grievances throughout the holiday season.
A coworker being called racist because we don’t have any children’s books written in French.
Older woman that yelled at a child in the magazine section. Not her child, just a child.
The same older woman peeing her pants in the store.
Regular older male customer that licked the cafe lead.
Woman that complained to a manager because the parking lot was icy. In January.
Swapping customer stories with the people from the shoe store next door.
Frequent instances of customers handing me empty coffee cups instead of throwing them in the trash.
Teenage girl that ordered a venti frappuccino, handed me £2.50 when the price is is £2.49, and told me to keep the change.
Getting screamed at by a mum for putting whipped cream on a drink she thought was hers…but wasn’t.
Drunk man sitting outside the store entrance with a shopping cart and a bottle of vodka. Left five minutes before a cop arrived.
Obviously high young man buying like five weed magazines.

Going inside the plexi-closet just to scream.

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